When you are forced to love somebody without condition.
When having boundaries is a sin.
When you are taught that your heart is dirty, just because you were born.
When your body has been made the enemy.
When sex – or a certain amount or flavor of sex – has become something shameful and dangerous.
When heteronormativity is the only right way.
When being married has more value, than being single.
When choosing not to have kids, means that you are seen as egocentric and outside God’s will.
When sex outside of marriage is wrong and sinful.
When doing something alone, has less value, than doing the same thing together with others.
When being quiet and thoughtful has become shameful.
When pleasure has become something dangerous.
When a certain way of being, has become more valuable than all others.
When you are not allowed to doubt and ask questions.
When you make your decisions out of fear and shame, instead of knowledge, self-awareness, freedom and autonomy.
When you aren’t allowed to express your own emotions.
When being happy and joyful is the only emotional state that is being valued.
When people assume they know who you are and what you like.
When you aren’t allowed to change.
When you aren’t allowed to think for yourself.
When you aren’t allowed to be yourself.
When there is only one right answer, one right story – only one right narrative to follow.
That is when religions, cultures, societies, parents, partners, teachers, leaders, institutions, workplaces or the voice inside your own head, has become toxic and dangerous.
Be curious, self-aware, and know your boundaries.
You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to have different needs and wants than others.
Don’t let religion, culture, society or other humans decide who you should be and how you should live. And don’t be afraid to stand alone (but don’t expose yourself to unnecessary danger).
Ignore “should”; follow “want.” The word “should” is a good indication that somebody else’s standards are involved. “Want” is within you, and is the seed of change.
Laurie Helgoe, Introvert Power
P.S.: Sin is an abusive religious construct. Sin is about power and control. It’s about keeping you trapped inside religion, with no way out. It’s a way to take your autonomy away from you, and get you to conform. As long as you think you are sinful, you need religion (and religious leaders and churches) to save you.
You are not sinful, you are just human. Give yourself permission to be human.